I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
