why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
only if we run a train.
done.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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