Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
