I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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