my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
