If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
