i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
