last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it glows. i had to have it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize