Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
