Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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