Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
