Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
