Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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