Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
