Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
