lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
