did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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