We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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