just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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