If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
