you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
