Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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