i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
