I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
