Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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