Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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