Dual....:-)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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