The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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