I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
