The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
