Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
