i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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