would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
