:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
