So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ugly people sure do ruin things
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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