i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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