Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
