Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
