our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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