return my video game
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
