I didn't shave. On purpose
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
