you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
