he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
