i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
