I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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