We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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