I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
