Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I supernannyed him into submission
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