why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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