why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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