We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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