Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
