I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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