Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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