Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
