Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I understand Curling. That high.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
